ilikebooks

update

Mon, 07 Apr 2008 04:45:45 GMT

i made a thai faux chicken pizza tonight. It turned out really well. that was good.

it's been helpful to finally be able to talk to people about the major stresses in my mind.

i don't really know exactly what direction to take (in the area of what has been stressing me out mentally), but i think that time will help me decide that. Until then I have tried to in a way that is respectful and thoughtful, but that doesn't discount my own feelings, my right to be respected and treated well.

I've been learning more about the fun that is fixed gear bicycles.
They can be cheaper than i realized.
I really want one. i kind of want build one because that would give me a better understanding of how my bike works. I would be really hesitant to do that though with out the help of someone who knows what they are doing.

This is a list of things I want in the near(ish) future:
fixed gear bike
improve at skating
do well in school (i.e. stay on top of my work weekly)
try to be more in touch with my spirituality
pack food more often for days when won't be able to eat at home
clean my room once a week (at least)
read all of the books i have either bought and not read yet, or started, but not finished
re-read less than zero
actually work out on a regular basis
go to the eye dr.
control my frustrations better
continue trying to increase my levels of forgiveness and my ability to let go of anger/resentment
continue trying to be happy and enjoy myself more
look for a job
look for direction

andthatsthat.

Tue, 14 Aug 2007 22:35:58 GMT

i wish i could control my feelings and my mind and then i could just stop and breathe for a minute.
i feel crazy like this. i can't even tell if the small things are real or if it is just me taking this further and further unintentionally.

yay!

Thu, 09 Aug 2007 19:23:15 GMT

ok so it finally completely ended. yesssss

Fri, 03 Aug 2007 14:56:12 GMT

also...i really wanted to get a pair of flip-flops from this cute store on 13th...but it closed. bummer.

Tue, 10 Jul 2007 03:54:46 GMT

i came back from camping at sunset bay today. it was a good time. much better birthday celebration than last year.

Thu, 07 Jun 2007 00:19:06 GMT

i don't handle stress very well. i procrastinate too much for someone who deals so badly with stress.

Mon, 19 Mar 2007 21:41:25 GMT

i forgot what it was like to bike to the river and relax. i did that all last year. the dorms made me feel like i was cramped and living in a cement box...the lack of friends made me feel sad, alone and really out of place in oregon. the river made all of this better (temporarily). it made me feel calm and ok. that i belonged in at least one place in eugene. that is why i love the river. i love riding my bike on the trails and then going off onto the smaller trails that lead to quiet empty banks. i took nichole there the other day when we were trying not to do homework but also not be so gross and sit in the house. i took her there this summer too when molly came out to oregon and juliane and all of us came down to eugene. it was nice. i like it that someone from home has been to my special spot in eugene with me. i think nichole likes the river...she seemed a bit scared of it though. maybe her fear is a result of me telling her that i had seen homeless people do drugs down there. i didnt say that to scare her, cause it doesnt really scare me. i jsut said it cause sometimes i think of how if i had no where else to go in eugene tha ti would go there, and that that is why i see homeless people there often. i would rather sit there all day than have peope glare at me in downtown eugene if i was out of luck and had no place to sleep. i guess the drug thing may have been the scary aspect...drugged out people with nothing too loose is a little scary i guess.
this is me not writing my final wgs paper

Thu, 31 Aug 2006 21:51:17 GMT

so today my mom called aging/death the great equalizer. she said that no matter how rich or powerful you are, or how much work you do to the outside that your insides will age and you will die. everyone will. the great equalizer...we all end up in the same place in the end. she actually said that you will rot from the inside out...but that seemed a little scary so i decided to put "your insides will age and you will die" instead. but then i though. well she has a point. um yeah.

sooo yeah

Sun, 23 Jul 2006 02:24:33 GMT

summer basically has been a waste of my time. most of this is my own fault for not being more productive. i have jsut sat here and done pretty much nothing. i cannnot wait to be back in oregon and with people i like being with...i mena i love my family but most of my friends are either out of town or not really available to hang out with. yeah. anyway im dont complaining now.

number 1

Wed, 05 Jul 2006 23:18:47 GMT

um yeah. so nichole is forcing me to become active on here....whatevs. anyway it is my 20th birthday and i am home alone wahhh oh well i think i might hang out with evan and katie and those folks tonight so that should be fun. it is weird because none of my close friends who are actually in tn right now remember that it is my birthday and it feels awkward to talk to them and be like oh by the way it is my birthday. i don't want to make them feel like i am trying to guilt trip them. i just wish they knew ha. oh well. ill tell evan and those people because they have no real reason to know anyway. hmmm i miss oregon. i want to go back NOW! anyway im not sure what else i have to say on here, buti do think that i like rambling on this thing so i might do it alot haha. well when i am bored and think of it. ok that's all i got for now i think.